Drunk Is Always The Way To Find Love
by HPisObsessive
Summary: Ron could never ask on his own.  He needed a little help. If only he knew he was doing it.      RWHG   ONESHOT


Molly, Fleur, Hermione, and Ginny were sitting in the kitchen at the Burrow, having a cup of tea and chatting. Hermione had just returned from her home in London, and now she was discussing her plans to leave the next day. She was anxious to travel to Australia and retrieve her parents, so that she could restore their memories. She missed them terribly, and she especially missed having chats with her mother. 

Fleur had been visiting all day. She and Bill had arrived early that morning, so that Bill could accompany Arthur to the Ministry. Arthur had decided that this would be a good day to take Ron to the Ministry to show him around, and to discuss "career options." Bill had been enlisted to provide moral support. Hermione was glad that Ron had agreed to go. Some of his recent statements suggested that he was ambivalent about his future. This trip to the Ministry, Hermione felt, might just give him a bit of a needed push. 

It was late afternoon when suddenly, a blue light appeared in the kitchen, which then took the form of a weasel patronus. Then Arthur's voice spoke: "All is well, all of the boys are with me, don't hold dinner."

The four women exchanged looks of curiosity. "I wonder what they're up to," said Fleur.

"Oh, I'm sure everything's fine," said Molly. "It's nice for Arthur to get out with all his boys." And then, almost immediately, her eyes welled with tears, yet there was no need for words. Each of the women sat quietly, looking down at the table, thinking of Fred. 

Later that evening, the four of them were sitting in the family room when they heard the popping sounds that told them that the men had returned. Then they heard singing. Very bad singing.

With confused looks, they all rose and went to the kitchen to find Arthur, Bill, and Ron, singing, giggling, and staggering into each other. It was obvious they were all quite drunk.

Molly and Fleur glared at their husbands as Hermione stared at Ron, exasperated. Ginny seemed to be the only who found the sight amusing.

Arthur caught sight of Molly, and cleared his throat, as if to call his sons to attention. The three of them stood up straight and still. Or, as still as they could manage, at any rate.

"Hello, Molly, my love," he said grandly. "And how are all you lovely ladies this fine evening?"

Molly's eyes were as red as her hair. "Arthur Weasley, explain yourself!" 

Arthur blinked at her, clearly trying to focus his thoughts. "It's quite simple, the boys and I decided to stop by the Leaky Cauldron after work for… for a bit of refreshment." This was followed by more giggles by Bill and Ron.

Molly was getting angrier by the second. "Am I to understand that all of my sons are in this… condition?"

Bill spoke up. "Yeah, pretty much." Then he added, "Except Percy, of course."

"Well, at least HE has some common sense."

"That's only because he's a pr…" Ron started to say, but Molly's glare cut him off. But then he added quickly, "Oh, and we ran into Harry." 

At this, Ginny perked up instantly. "You saw Harry? Where? How is he? Where is he now?"

"Have no fear, my darling daughter," Arthur replied. "Young Harry is quite well. He said he was headed to Hogwarts to speak with Professor McGonamagall…Monamagall…" He blinked a few more times and finally said, "Minerva."

Now Molly was beside herself. "Arthur, do you mean to tell me you let Harry go off by himself to wander drunkenly through the halls of Hogwarts?"

"Of course not, my dear," Arthur replied. "Harry left us before we…we…"

"…got plastered," added Ron. At this, the three men erupted in another round of staggering and giggles.

Molly had seen enough. She turned to her daughter-in-law. "Fleur, would you please take your husband home?"

"Certainly," Fleur replied. She walked over to Bill, caressed his cheek softly, and in a sweet, lilting voice, said, "Bill, please come with me." Then she walked out the kitchen door.

Bill gave his father and brother a mischievous grin and said, "Looks like there may be a bit of fun at Shell Cottage tonight." But before anyone could respond, from outside, Fleur bellowed, "WILLIAM!"

"Or, perhaps not," Bill replied as he ran out the door, leaving Arthur and Ron in stitches.

Then Molly said to her husband, "That's enough, Arthur, the party's over. Come with me." And then to Ginny: "Ginny, please see to your brother."

Ginny was shocked. "WHAT!? Why should I have to…" But Hermione cut her off. "That's alright, Ginny," she said as she looked at Ron with a devilish gleam in her eye. "I'll handle this."

As Molly escorted Arthur through the family room and up the stairs, Hermione walked over to Ron, took him by the hand, and said, "Let's go, Ron." But he pulled his hand from hers, wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and pulled her close, his face next to hers. "'Mione, my love, I will follow you anywhere."

Hermione caught her breath as she turned her face away. "Fine," she said with a disgusted look. "Just don't breathe on me while you do."

She led him up the stairs towards his room, but he stopped as they passed the washroom. "Excuse me a minute," he said, and then stumbled into the washroom and proceeded to throw up. Hermione rolled her eyes as she followed him, trying not to breathe. When he finally sat up, she knelt down next to him.

"Do you feel better?" she asked. "Yeah, a little, I guess." And then, as she softly wiped his face with a cool, damp washcloth, "That feels good."

"You should rinse your mouth out. And if you can manage it, brush your teeth. You'll be glad you did." And so will I, she thought. 

When Ron was finished in the washroom, Hermione led him up to his room and over to his bed. "Take your shirt off," she said. This proved to be a little too much for him to manage by himself, so she helped him pull his shirt over his head. But before she knew it, he had put is arms around her waist and pulled her close to him.

"I knew you couldn't wait to get my clothes off," he said.

"Yes, Ron," she replied in a frustrated tone. "A boyfriend who's naked, drunk, and stinking. It's every girl's dream!"

She tried to pull away, but he held her close, and then he started to kiss her, moving from her neck to her chin to her ear, as he ran his hands under her shirt and caressed the skin of her back. At first she struggled slightly, but then she could feel herself giving in, as she buried her head in his shoulder and wrapped her arms across his back. She was mesmerized by his kisses, and his hands, caressing her slowly… until they stopped.

Almost before she knew what had happened, she realized that she was supporting his full weight; he had passed out. As carefully as she could, she let him down unto his bed. Then she lifted his feet unto his bed and removed his shoes and socks. She kissed him on the forehead and whispered, "Goodnight, my love." Shaking her head, she walked out of the room. 

The following day, Ron finally managed to rouse himself in the middle of the morning. He walked semi-blindly down the stairs and collapsed on the sofa as Hermione and Ginny watched.

Ginny grinned at Hermione. "I say, Hermione, have you met my brother, the oaf?" she said, in a stuffy voice.

"Why yes I have, Ginny dear," Hermione replied with the same aristocratic tone. "And I must say, you're quite correct. He is quite an oaf."

Ron muttered "Very funny" and covered his face with his hands as the two girls laughed. Just then, his mother came in from the kitchen and, seeing him sprawled on the sofa, exclaimed, "Ronald Weasley, if you think you are going to just lie around here all day in a stupor, you are sadly mistaken. I don't care how hung over you are, I have work for you."

Ron moaned and said, "Okay, Mum, okay. Only please stop yelling."

"I'm NOT yelling! Would you like to HEAR ME YELL!?"

"NO! Please, Mum, I get it. I'll be there in a minute."

His mother turned around and disappeared into the kitchen as Ron moaned and covered his face again.

Hermione watched him for a minute and then, as she flashed a grin at Ginny, went over to the sofa and knelt down. "Ron?" she said quietly. He didn't answer. She reached out and touched his arm. "Ron?" 

"What?"

"How do you feel?"

He opened one eye and looked at her through his fingers. "How do you think I feel?" he said miserably, and closed his eye.

Ginny giggled as Hermione called his name again. "What?"

"Are you ever going to do this again?"

Not on your life, he thought to himself. "No, 'Mio…Hermione." He knew she didn't like it when he called her 'Mione.

She smiled at him for a moment, and then, with her hand still on his arm, she leaned forward and, much to his surprise, brushed her lips lightly against his ear. She felt him tense up slightly.

"I have a secret to tell you." she whispered.

"What?" Now both eyes were open wide. 

She whispered again, only this time more seductively. "I love it when you call me 'Mione."

She knelt back so that she could see his face. He picked his head up slightly and looked at her smiling sweetly at him. His head dropped back onto the sofa; his eyes were closed, and he also bore a wide smile.

Then Hermione said, "Ron, do you love me?" Ron opened his eyes again, and was just about to yell at Ginny to get lost, but then thought better of it. Yelling didn't seem like a good idea at the moment, no matter who was doing it. Finally, he looked at Hermione and said, simply, "Yes."

Hermione leaned forward. She tenderly kissed his cheek (Ginny's eyebrows shot up), and then yelled in his ear, "I LOVE YOU TOO, YOU BIG DRUNKEN GIT!"

Ginny erupted in a fit of laughter and fell out of her chair. Hermione stood up just as Molly came walking into the room, surveying the situation, as Ron lay covering his head with his arms and, apparently, writhing in pain. She walked over to Hermione and patted her on the arm.

"Very good, dear". "Thank you , Mum Weasley." Then Molly asked Ginny to come and help in the garden as she walked out of the room. 

Finally pulling herself together, Ginny stood up and walked over to Hermione.

"It's amazing how well you fit in with this family." she said with a big smile. Then they hugged, and she followed her mother out to the garden.

After a few moments, Ron had recovered enough to say to Hermione, "You know, that wasn't very nice."

"I know," she replied, "And I'm sorry. But if you're going to behave this way, you'd better get used to it. Now, would you like me to make you a cup of coffee?"

"Yes, please." he said. "Only…" as she started to walk away. She stopped. "What?"

"Do it quietly."

As Hermione walked out to the kitchen, Ron started to lift himself off of the sofa. Slowly, he thought, no sudden movements! But as he sat up, some of Hermione's words filtered back into his mind: "Better get used to it." At first, it seemed as though the phrase had an ominous tone to it. But the more he thought about it… his lips broke into a warm smile.

At the kitchen table, Ron sat sipping his coffee from a large mug as Hermione watched. His brow was furrowed as he looked across at her.

"Did I hear you call my Mum 'Mum Weasley' before?" "Yes."

Pause. "Did something happen here yesterday that I should know about?" "Such as what?" 

"Such as, did you marry one of my brothers? Or did my parents adopt you? Something like that?"

Hermione laughed at him. "No, Ron. It's just that your Mum treats me like a daughter, and Ginny treats me like her sister. Your Mum told me to call her that. It's really quite a nice feeling."

Ron considered her words for a couple of minutes. Finally he said, "Okay, then, but if my Mum is your Mum, and my sister is your sister, what does that make me?"

She smiled at him as she said, "How about, a great big thorn in my side?"

"Gee, thanks!" 

Hermione laughed as she stood up and walked over to his chair. Standing behind him, she wrapped her arms around him and bent over, her mouth by his ear. "Okay then, how about, the love of my life."

He reached up, took her hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it. "Much better," he replied.

But then she said, "Of course, you are still a thorn in my side, just as you always have been. Just as I've always been a thorn in your side, and just as I'll always be." Then she kissed him on the cheek, and dug her finger into his ribs as he squirmed. Finally, she stood up and left the room, leaving him with a wide grin on his face.

A few minutes later, Molly entered the kitchen and found Ron sitting just as Hermione had left him. "Well, you seem to be feeling better."

"I most certainly am," he replied, still smiling brightly.


End file.
